Thursday, 27 October 2005


Recently, I have been feeling rather unsatisfied with my own life. And, when that happens, I started to complain a lot, whether it is lack of things to do, or even busy with things to do. Then, a friend said (enjoy whatever you are doing, live the present. Maybe you have not grown-up still". It struck me at that moment. Yes, I could converse easily with those who are much elder than I am, or even baby-talk to the younger little ones, but have I really grown? Inevitably I have grown physically, mentally and even spiritually, however, I finally realised that I have not let my heart to grow naturally. Is my emotional growth in question? Do we really have to separate between spiritual, physical, mental and emotional? Have you experienced such thorough examination of yourself? And, at the same time, I was again thinking of that simple question which was taught to little children, "what would Jesus do?", and I wonder to. When growing is inevitable, all I want is to grow with the right nutrients and in the right direction.

Wednesday, 19 October 2005

Rainie, Raining

Wonder why time seems to be rushing all the time? When was the last time you sat by the window an enjoyed the morning sun shining through your windows panes? Or, your place does not allow you to see a glitter of sunshine? When was the last time you saw the moon hanging in the night sky? Or even the stars that were blinking when the sky was clear? When was the last time you actually felt the morning breeze caressing your face, smelling of freshness, giving you a brand-new hope? When was the last time you walked quietly during the break of dawn and thinking of nothing but that particular quiet dawn? Do you miss that all? I do and I miss them very much. I wish to smell the morning, the dusk, the rain and that blazing sun. Have you smelt them before? And, that green grass in the field, have you smelt it before? And the earth after the rain, have you smelt it before? I remember going home on the school bus after a heavy downpour, the smell was so ... nostalgic, and so familiar. The smell of earth. It reminds me of the scout camp in Sabah, it reminds me of life without much boundaries. The sunrise, the sunset, the tranquility of the night, the refreshing coffee smell floating in the dark morning, the roaring engine of a school bus filled with sleepy students in the early morning, even before the streak of first daylight came through. Aaah, I miss all that and I long for that kind of liberty. Do you?